I am who I am so if you HATE me , then PISS OFF

I been asking myself that queston

What do i truly want?

In life , i guess the answer to this question has truly adverse impact on your life

It is the answer to this that you will begin to know how to shape your life and work your life toward the goal you have to mind

Priorities in your life will keep changing but what matters is do your priorities finally you to what you want in life?

Alignment of your innerself will release the capcity within that has no limits
The sky is truly the limits

What is your plan?

To most people without a plan , everything is hard. They work without a purpose in life with no end in mind and no reason for living

I do not want to live in mediocrity

Love what you do and do what you love =)

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Beginning to see things in a whole perspective
Admin phrase of my course just ended and i forsee tougher days ahead
Glad that i learnt quite a number of useful skills along the way
Feel so much more free not bothering so much any more and focusing on course.
But that freedom is soon going to be gone
Sigh sigh
I shouldn't think anymore
Just focus on what is at hand and make the best of whatever i have
Kinda having a bittersweet feeling about my national service
Dreed the day i have to ask myself
"NOW WHAT?"

Although i have in mind what i want to do but still cannot imagine how much life will change in future. Just holding on to faith which seem so warmth in this dark world. So much comprehension of how things work and functions yet so helpless in helping myself.
Why or why?

Just looking forward
I will stop looking back =)

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Cannot comprehend the very fact why humans are so selfish
But isn't that our human nature?
Why we all fall short of some many things

Clearly, everyone is selfish in their own ways
Be it time , money , priorities , choices and many other unlimited things
Perhaps due to the sad face that we live in a world where we are forced to be selfish

We have often tried to explain ourselves but have we found any answers?
None i tell you
All these reasons are but excuses
Simply accept the fact that you are selfish and you are the cause of it all

Stop blaming everything that happens to you
Because you had a hand in everything that happens to you
Choices you make that will determine the repercussions in future

I myself admit that i am selfish
I am I am
Of too many things that i am ashamed

I look at my current state in life and understood the harsh reality of my past actions and its repercussion on my life
All my selfish acts that seems to have backlashed at me

Memories flashback as i close my eyes
A few drops of tears hang from my eyes struggling not to fall
Suspended at an instance
Time seemed to stopped
But there was no stopping the inevitable
Smudged images as if tainted by devil himself
Yet who was the wiser to see the clearer picture?
One that was so clear at first , now disfigured by my own doings
Or one mutilated figurine of despair crying out for redemption

Fears of what the future beholds
How do i be selfless in this monger world?

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Recalling how today went by
Meet my Buddy Sean Foo for a swim at Jurong East Swimming Complex at noon
Swam a while and we just relax ourselves
Jurong East Swimming Complex was quite cool

Got a wave pool to swim in

Got a big current circle where you just need to stand on your feets and the current brings u
forwards

The adult pool was nice to swim in
i did only 2 laps and KO due to insufficant rest and all the mental torture i had through the week

There was even a funnel ride. I guess like 5 storeys high?
LOL
So so tempted to ride the funnel
But i didn't. Didn't want to leave Sean behind
Next time i guess

Sean's right leg is in quite a serious condition to to excessive running
Require surgery
Sigh
Quite worried for him
Praying that God will really heal him
Inviting him to miracle service next saturday
Just pray that God will keep the day free for both of us and really completely heal him
I believe LORD
I do
I know

After lunch @ KFC at the Swimming complex, we head to his house to shower , chill and relax before heading to Queentown for my shopping.

Brought a pair of Black and White Low Dunks for $110
Was so tempted to buy another but managed to control my spending urge
I was like on a spree to blow a hole in my wallet
LOL
Thankfully i kept my discipline

Afterwhich we head down to plaza singapura to meet Kewal for dinner
I treated sean's Dinner
I REALLY cannot stand the GST
Our meals totalled to $29.80
Service Charge 10% and GST 7% contributed $4.48
Our cost of living is seriously getting too high

After dinner, our intial plan was to go to a pub and chill and relax
In the end, both kewal and sean said they were not drinking.
I was like ..... okay... next plan then
So we finally settled on shopping
By mistake, we someone ended up on the 7th floor of plaza singapura
Cause someone didn't press our floor
So what the heck, just check the movie timing at GV and we decided
on the spot to catch a movie instead

"Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" was our choice

Front 2 row and they gave us the side seats(HORRIBLE)
If it wasn't for sean's constant annoying nagging that it is nice, i properly would have given it a pass.After buying TIX with SAFRA card $8 movie tix instead of the normal $9.5
We walked around plaza singapura to shop

I manage to buy a FOX tee for $23
Retro print
And it is in black and white
My FAVOURITE colour
Rushed to grab some popcorn and drinks before proceeding in

I was so glad that we catch such a great movie
"Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street"

I loved the singing throughout the movie.
Loved the last scene when their blood flowed onto the gaps on stoned floor
Their poses was so artistically protrayed
Loved the rage , revenge and gore of the whole movie

Definately a movie you don't want to miss
PLEASE GO WATCH IT

We all managed to catch the last train home
Wishing more days like this would come
Retail Therapy seriously helps to make me happy =)
More shopping to be done before chinese new year
=)

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2008 started off very badly

SIGH

Dec 31 2007

2317 HRS

Location : Watchnight Service @ Lighthouse Evangelism(Tampines)

SMS from CSM

Report 0605 for Guard Duty Tomorrow

Don't be Late

One minute later

Cancel last order. RSM has requested all guard duty personnel to report back camp

by tonight. Please book in by 2359 if you are not already in camp

SHOCKED

SMS him tell him i cannot answer his call cause i was at service. Tell him i will report back to camp by 1am because i still need time to go back pack and then cab back to camp

His reply : NO BARGAIN

Hastily left service and waited for the bus back home

Packed and went to MAC to grab something then took a cab back to camp

What a way to start the new year off

Served my 01 Jan 2008 24hours Guard Duty

Next Day , i didn't even have my 4 hours guard rest after my 24 hour duty

CSM shock us again with stunt

Luckily i was spared cause i had to prepare all the admin portion for the course

Later on , i had coordination meeting at 2pm that day till late which got me worried because still a lot of things not deconflicted yet

Thursday went past rather quickly and i focused on what mattered on hand

Stay till 2200 HRS in office thinking of any course preparation for the first day

Friday had LIVE program in the morning

They introduced interval training

COOL

Something new always eh?

Stand By Area of my bunk before i booked out super late 1820HRS

Rushed to REACHLIGHT

What greeted me in REACHLIGHT was the intense HEAT due to the air con malfunction

I was like in my black ZARA tee , Le Coq Sportif Jacket , Levi Jeans and Adidas Sneakers

Sweat just kept rolling down my face

and i could not concentrate on the worship

Quickly took off my jacket after praise and worship

The sermon was much better than the last one

But there are still rooms for improvements though =)

A few of the cell peeps signed up for a reachlight gathering this coming Jan 19th

Supper with the gang was good

The truth is we all live in this world where we want instant gratification

We want things to *SNAP* and happen

But truth in all , laying the foundation right is very important

Although i still believe in changing what i feel is unacceptable

I am gradually accepting what i cannot change

I will of course support this ministry. Dun worry guys!!

I am worried about the course starting next monday

I feel so unprepared

Like so many things i felt that i have overlooked although i started preparing rather early

My stand is never expect others what you yourself cannot do

How am i supposed to impart and teach them the right attitude and skillsets they need to be a commander when i myself am not in the correct mindset?

I need to be able to answer to myself

Help me LORD

My 2008 Resolution

1)Walk Closer With GOD

2)Give my best for my last course as a instructor

3)Give my best during AESC and learn to the best of my ability

4)IPPT Gold

5)Secure job straight after i ORD

6)Thanking everyone who have made my NS life so much more meaningful and colourful

7)Saving up for my future university daily expenses

8)Spend more time with my family

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Finally having some time to post in here

Recently i have been receiving more and more compliments about my metrosexuality

which i do feel proud of =)

HOWEVER

People tend to have the general misconception that all metrosexual guys are GAY

That is what i seek to address today

NOT everyone who is a metrosexual is a GAY

Before i get deeper in the topic

Let listen to what people think of metrosexual

"A heterosexual male who has a strong aesthetic sense and inordinate interest in
appearance and style, similar to that of homosexual males"

"A kind of description to guys who are concious in their images, styles and are
into fashion trends... dressing and styling themselves with fashion n trendy"

"He might be officially gay, straight or bisexual, but this is utterly
immaterial because he has clearly taken himself on as his own love object and
pleasure as his sexual preference."

"The metrosexual, in short, is someone who takes pride in looking good. He has
debunked the assumption that well-groomed men are, for the most part, gay."

"He's confident, and open-minded. He likes looking good for himself and not for
anybody else and, if in the process, he's admired by both sexes, great!"

"Young, trendy, sensitive"

"Man with a sense of fashion and a taste for culture, who loves to shop and look
good, and may be of ambiguous sexual orientation"

In this modern era that we live in , man and woman are equal. If woman can make an effort to make herself Beautiful. Guys should make double that effort since we still have male ego and want to outdo the woman coupled with the inexperience of looking good.

It is not like we plan to be beautiful the moment we reach puberty unlike female (No offence here). Female have always had grand plans of marrying but first they have to attract the bait aye? So how better than becoming the honey that all the bee come swarming after?

"There are no ugly people in this world , only lazy ones."

So make that extra effort to make yourself standout from the crowd. Dun be lazy but put in the extra effort to make yourself look good. Making yourself attractive and desirable to girls

Time have certainly changed. As we all know that change is the only constant. How we react to the change is very important. Weren't girls all supposed to have tissue paper when they go out and guys who brought them termed "sissy"? (Worst if it is a hankerchief)

Now all guys are expected to be the one supplying the tissue. WHY?

Yours truly is embracing the change very well. I love that fact that Guys are expected to look good nowadays. Call it vanity or whatever but i call being Metrosexual a lifestyle

I just love going out there shopping for the newest fashion to add to your collection. Updating your wardrobe, Flaunting it.

Fashion is an ART & ART interest many.

Is so interesting to see how people dress up. Exploring the many styles and adopting other's fashion ideas on yourself

Image is just one part of the equation

You need Style

You need Attitude

You need Confidence

Interesting post so far? I will continue my Metrosexuality's view next week

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This song ministered to me greatly

Who Am I
by Casting Crowns

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading

Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

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